sometimes i just feel really lost that i can just stone in mid air. really wanna turn to someone for company and comfort but who can i turn to. sometimes, i feel really bad having to turn to bestie all the time. but this reality hit hard on me that true friends are really hard to find.

i felt kinda lost just now and so i asked eugene heng if he wanted supper later on. his reply to me was pretty and glaring.

"how come you want supper suddenly"

i just dunno how to answer him. "cos i needed a breather" =/ or " i feel bad that i didn't meet you guys yesterday?"

my reply to him: " oh! it was a just a random thought. on 2nd thoughts, think better not cos of the rainy night."

seriously wth! such a fake reply back to him. he msged me yesterday wanting to have a gathering at 10pm. i was super shagged out by fyp and said to count me out. eugene just gotta add this msg, "why am i torturing myself?" i really wanted to cry cos i was feeling so weiqu that someone even have to point out that im torturing myself. am i really doing that to myself? did the person who hurt me so badly even care if im alive right now? i dun think so.

im feeling so bad already, and the peeps at home will never fail to annoy me. seriously, i just feel that life is so f. up.

i can't believe it that im using my blog to rant.